POST-SYNODAL APOSTOLIC EXHORTATION
AMORIS LÆTITIA
OF
THE HOLY FATHER
FRANCIS
CHAPTER
NINE
The spiriTuaLiTy of marriaGe
and The
famiLy
313. Charity takes on different
hues, depending on the state of life to which we have been called. Several decades ago, in
speaking of the lay apos- tolate, the Second Vatican
Council emphasized the spirituality born of family life. The Council
stated that lay spirituality “will take its particular character from the
circumstances of… married and family life”,367 and that “family cares should
not
be foreign” to that spirituality.368 It is worth pausing to describe certain basic
characteristics of this specific spirituality that unfolds in family life and
its relationships.
a spiriTuaLiTy of supernaTuraL communion
314. We
have always spoken of how God dwells in the hearts of those living in
his grace. Today we can add that the Trinity is present in the temple of
marital communion. Just as God dwells in the praises of his people
(cf. Ps 22:3), so
367 Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity Apostolicam Actuositatem, 4.
368 Cf.
ibid.
he dwells deep within the marital
love that gives him glory.
315. The Lord’s presence dwells in real and concrete
families, with all their daily troubles
and struggles, joys and hopes. Living
in a family makes it hard for us to feign or lie; we cannot hide behind a mask.
If that authenticity is in- spired by love,
then the Lord reigns there, with his joy and his peace. The spirituality
of family love is made up of
thousands of small but real gestures. In that variety of gifts and encounters
which deepen communion, God has his dwelling place. This mutual concern
“brings together the human and the divine”,369 for it is filled with the
love of God.
In the end, marital spirituality is
a spirituality of the bond, in which divine love dwells.
316. A positive experience
of family commun- ion is a true path to daily sanctification and mys- tical growth,
a means for deeper union with God. The fraternal and communal demands of
family life are an incentive to growth in openness of heart and thus to an ever
fuller encounter with the Lord. The word of
God tells us that “the one who hates his brother
is in the darkness, and walks in the darkness” (1 Jn 2:11); such a person “abides in death” (1 Jn 3:14) and “does not know
369 second vaTican ecumenicaL counciL, Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World Gaudium et
Spes, 49.
God” (1 Jn 4:8). My predecessor Benedict XVI pointed out that “closing
our eyes to our neigh- bour also blinds us to God”,370 and that, in the end, love is the only light which can
“constantly illuminate a world grown
dim”.371 If only
we “love one another, God abides in us and
his love is perfected in us” (1
Jn 4:12). Since “the human person has an inherent social dimension”,372 and “the first and basic expression of that social di-
mension of the person is the married couple
and the family”,373 spirituality becomes
incarnate
in
the communion of the family. Hence,
those who have deep spiritual
aspirations should not feel that the family detracts from their growth in the
life of the Spirit, but rather see it as a path which the Lord is using to lead them to the heights of mystical union.
GaThered in prayer
in The LiGhT of easTer
317. If a family is
centred on Christ, he will unify and illumine its entire life. Moments of pain
and difficulty will be experienced in un-
ion with the Lord’s cross,
and his
closeness will make it possible
to surmount them. In the darkest hours of a family’s
life, union with Jesus in his abandonment can help avoid a breakup.
370 Encyclical Letter Deus Caritas Est (25
December 2015), 16: AAS 98 (2006), 230.
371 Ibid.,
39: AAS 98 (2006), 250.
372 John pauL II, Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation
Christifideles
Laici (30 December 1988), 40: AAS 81 (1989), 468.
373 Ibid.
Gradually, “with the grace of the Holy Spirit,
[the spouses] grow in holiness through married life, also by sharing in
the mystery of Christ’s cross, which
transforms difficulties and sufferings into an offering of
love”.374 Moreover, moments
of joy, relaxation, celebration, and even sexuality can be experienced as a sharing in the full life of the
resurrection. Married couples shape with differ- ent daily gestures a
“God-enlightened space in which to experience the hidden presence of the risen Lord”.375
318. Family prayer is a
special way of express- ing and strengthening this paschal faith.376 A few minutes can be found each day to come together before the living God, to tell
him our worries, to ask for the needs of
our family, to pray for someone
experiencing difficulty, to ask for help in showing love, to give thanks
for life and for its blessings, and to ask Our Lady to protect us beneath her
maternal mantle. With a few simple words, this
moment of prayer can do immense good for our families. The various expressions
of popular piety are a treasure of spirituality for many families. The family’s communal journey of prayer culminates by sharing together in
the Eucharist, especially in the context of the Sun- day rest. Jesus knocks on
the door of families, to
374 Relatio Finalis 2015, 87.
375 John pauL II,
Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation
Vita
Consecrata (25 March 1996), 42: AAS 88 (1996), 416.
376 Cf. Relatio Finalis 2015, 87.
share with them the Eucharistic
supper (cf. Rev 3:20). There, spouses
can always seal anew the paschal covenant which united them and which ought to
reflect the covenant which God sealed with mankind in the cross.377 The Eucharist
is the sacrament of the new
covenant, where Christ’s redemptive work is carried out (cf. Lk
22:20). The close bond between married life and the Eucharist
thus becomes all the more clear.378 For the food of the Eucharist offers the spouses the strength and incentive needed
to live the marriage covenant each day
as a “domestic church”.379
a spiriTuaLiTy of excLusive and free Love
319. Marriage
is also the experience of be- longing
completely to another person. Spouses accept the challenge and aspiration of
support- ing one another, growing old together, and in this way reflecting God’s own faithfulness. This firm decision, which shapes a style of
life, is an “interior requirement of the covenant of conju- gal love”,380 since “a person who cannot choose to love for ever can hardly love for
even a single
377 Cf. John pauL II, Apostolic
Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (22
November 1981), 57: AAS 74 (1982), 150.
378 Nor should we forget that God’s covenant with his people is expressed
as an espousal (cf. Ez 16:8, 60; Is 62:5; Hos 2:21-22),
and that the new covenant is also presented as a betrothal (cf. Rev 19:7; 21:2; Eph 5:25).
379 second vaTican ecumenicaL counciL, Dogmatic Constitution on the Church Lumen Gentium, 11.
380 John pauL II, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (22 November 1981), 11: AAS 74 (1982), 93.
day”.381 At the
same time, such
fidelity would be spiritually
meaningless were it simply a mat- ter of following a law with obedient
resignation. Rather, it is a matter of the heart, into which God alone sees
(cf. Mt 5:28). Every morning, on rising, we reaffirm before God our decision to be faithful, come what may in
the course of the day. And all of us,
before going to sleep, hope to wake up and continue this adventure, trusting in
the Lord’s help. In this way, each spouse is for the other a sign
and instrument of the closeness of the Lord, who never abandons us: “Lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age” (Mt 28:20).
320. There comes a point
where a couple’s love attains the height of its freedom and be- comes the basis
of a healthy autonomy. This happens when each spouse realizes that the oth- er
is not his or her own, but has a much more important master, the one Lord. No
one but God can presume to take over the deepest and most personal core of the
loved one; he alone can be the ultimate centre of their life. At the same time,
the principle of spiritual realism requires that one spouse not presume that
the other can completely satisfy his or her needs.
The spiritual journey of each
– as Dietrich Bonhoeffer nicely put it
– needs to
help
them to a
certain
381 Id., Homily at Mass with Families, Cordoba,
Argentina (8 April 1987), 4: Insegnamenti
X/1 (1987), 1161-1162.
“disillusionment” with
regard to the other,382 to stop expecting from
that person something which is proper to the love
of God alone. This demands an interior divestment. The space which each
of the spouses makes exclusively for their personal relationship with God not
only helps heal the hurts of life in common, but also enables the spouses to
find in the love of God the deepest
source of meaning in their own lives. Each day we have to invoke the
help of the Holy Spirit to make this
interior freedom possible.
a spiriTuaLiTy of care, consoLaTion and incenTive
321. “Christian couples
are, for each other, for their children and for their relatives, cooperators of grace and witnesses of the faith”.383 God calls them to bestow life and to care for
life. For this reason the family “has
always been the nearest ‘hospital’”.384 So let us care for one another, guide
and encourage one another, and experience this as a part of our family
spirituality. Life as a cou- ple is a daily sharing in God’s creative work, and each
person is for the other a constant challenge from the Holy Spirit. God’s love is proclaimed “through the living and concrete word whereby a man
and the woman
express their conjugal
382 Cf. Gemeinsames Leben, Munich, 1973, p. 18. English:
Life
Together, New York, 1954, p. 27.
383 second
vaTican ecumenicaL counciL, Decree
on the Apostolate of the
Laity Apostolicam Actuositatem, 11.
384
Catechesis (10 June 2015): L’Osservatore Romano, 11 June 2015, p. 8.
love”.385 The two are thus mutual reflections
of that divine love which
comforts with a word, a look, a helping hand, a caress, an embrace. For this
reason “to want to form a family is to resolve to be a part of God’s dream, to choose to dream with him,
to want to build with him, to join him in this saga of building
a world where no one will
feel alone”.386
322. All family life is a
“shepherding” in mer- cy. Each of us, by our love and care, leaves a mark on the life of others; with Paul, we can say: “You are our letter of recommendation, written on your hearts… not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God” (2 Cor 3:2-3). Each of
us is a “fisher of men” (Lk 5:10) who in Jesus’ name “casts the nets” (cf. Lk 5:5) to others, or a farmer who tills the fresh soil of those
whom he or she loves, seeking
to bring out the best in them.
Mar- ital fruitfulness involves helping others, for “to love anybody is to expect from him
something which can neither be defined nor foreseen; it is at the same time in
some way to make it possible for him to fulfil this expectation”.387 This is itself
385 John pauL II, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (22 November 1981), 12: AAS 74 (1982), 93.
386 Address
at the Prayer Vigil of the Festival of Families, Philadelphia
(26 September 2015): L’Osservatore Romano,
28-29 September 2015, p. 6.
387 GabrieL marceL, Homo Viator:
prolégomènes à une métaphysique de l’espérance, Paris, 1944, p. 66. English: Homo Viator. An
Introduction to a Metaphysics of Hope, London, 1951, p. 49.
a way to worship God, who has sown so much good in others in the hope that we will help make
it grow.
323. It is a profound
spiritual experience to contemplate our loved
ones with the eyes of God
and to see Christ in them. This demands a free- dom and openness which
enable us to appreciate
their dignity. We can be fully present to others only by
giving fully of ourselves and forgetting all else. Our loved ones merit our
complete at- tention. Jesus is our model in this, for whenever people
approached to speak with him, he would meet
their gaze, directly and lovingly (cf. Mk
10:21). No one felt overlooked in his presence, since his words and
gestures conveyed the ques- tion: “What do you want me to do for you?” (Mk
10:51). This is what we experience in the daily life of the family.
We are constantly reminded
that each of those who live with us
merits com- plete attention, since he or she possesses infinite dignity as an object of the Father’s
immense love. This gives rise to a tenderness
which can “stir in the other the joy of being loved. Tenderness is expressed in a particular way by exercising loving care in treating the limitations of
the other, espe- cially when they are evident”.388
324. Led
by the Spirit, the
family circle is not only
open to life by generating it within itself, but
388
Relatio
Finalis 2015, 88.
also by going forth and spreading life by caring for others and seeking their happiness. This openness finds particular
expression in
hospitality,389 which the word of
God eloquently encourages: “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers,
for there- by some have entertained angels unawares” (Heb 13:2). When a family
is welcoming and reaches out to others,
especially the poor and the neglected, it is “a symbol,
witness and participant in the Church’s motherhood”.390 Social love, as a reflection of the Trinity, is
what truly unifies the spiritual
meaning of the family and
its mission to others,
for it makes present the kerygma
in all its communal imper- atives. The
family lives its
spirituality precisely by being at
one and the same time a domestic church and a vital cell for transforming the world.391
* * *
325. The teaching of the Master (cf. Mt 22:30)
and Saint Paul (cf. 1
Cor 7:29-31) on mar- riage
is set – and not
by chance – in the con- text of
the
ultimate and definitive dimension
of our human existence. We urgently need to rediscover
the richness of this teaching. By heeding
it, married couples will
come to see the
deeper meaning of their journey through
389 Cf. John pauL II, Apostolic
Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (22
November 1981), 44: AAS 74 (1982), 136.
390 Ibid., 49: AAS 74 (1982), 141.
391 For the social aspects
of the family, cf. ponTificaL counciL for JusTice and
peace, Compendium of the Social
Doctrine of the Church, 248-254.
life. As this Exhortation has often noted, no family drops down from heaven perfect- ly
formed; families need constantly to grow and mature in the ability
to love. This is a never- ending vocation born of the full communion of the Trinity,
the profound unity between Christ and
his Church, the loving
community which is the Holy Family of Nazareth, and the pure fraternity existing among the saints
of heaven. Our contem- plation of the fulfilment
which we have yet to
at- tain also allows us to see in proper
perspective the historical journey which we make as families,
and in this way to stop demanding of our interperson- al relationships a perfection, a purity of
intentions and a consistency which we will only encounter in the Kingdom to come. It also keeps us
from judg- ing harshly
those who live in situations
of frailty. All of us are
called to keep striving
towards some- thing greater than
ourselves and our families,
and every family must feel this
constant impulse. Let us
make this journey as families, let us keep walking together. What we have been
promised is greater than
we can imagine. May we never lose heart be- cause of our limitations, or ever stop seeking that fullness of love and
communion which God holds
out before us.
Prayer to the Holy Family
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, in you
we contemplate
the splendour of true love; to
you we turn with trust.
Holy Family of Nazareth, grant
that our families too
may be places of communion and
prayer, authentic schools of the Gospel
and small domestic churches.
Holy Family of Nazareth,
may families never again experience violence, rejection
and division;
may all who have been hurt or scandalized find ready
comfort and healing.
Holy Family of Nazareth, make
us once more mindful
of the sacredness and
inviolability of the family, and its beauty in God’s plan.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
Graciously hear our prayer.
Amen.
Given in Rome, at Saint Peter’s, during the Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy, on 19 March, the Solemnity of Saint
Joseph, in the year 2016, the fourth of my Pontificate.
 |
INDEX
The Joy of Love [1-7] 3
chapTer one
IN
THE LIGHT OF THE WORD [8] . 7
you and your Wife [9-13] 8
your chiLdren are as The shooTs of an
|
oLive Tree [14-18]
|
|
|
11
|
|
a paTh of sufferinG and bLood [19-22]
|
|
|
15
|
|
The Work of
your hands [23-26]
|
|
|
17
|
|
The
Tenderness of an embrace [27-30]
|
.
|
.
|
19
|
chapTer TWo
THE
EXPERIENCES
AND
CHALLENGES OF FAMILIES
[31] 23
The currenT reaLiTy of The famiLy [32-49] 23 some chaLLenGes [50-57] 40
chapTer Three
LOOKING
TO JESUS: THE VOCA-
TION
OF THE FAMILY [58-60] .
. . 47
Jesus resTores and fuLfiLs God’s pLan [61-66] 48 The famiLy
in The documenTs of The church
[67-70] 52
The sacramenT of maTrimony [71-75] 54 seeds of The Word and imperfecT
siTuaTions [76-79] 59 The
Transmission of Life
and The rearinG
of chiLdren [80-85] 62
The famiLy and The church [86-88] 67
chapTer four
LOVE IN
MARRIAGE [89]. . .
. . .
71
our daiLy Love [90] 71
Love is patient [91-92] .
. . .
. . .
. . 72
|
Love
is at the service of others [93-94] . Love is not jealous [95-96] . . . .
. Love
is not boastful [97-98] . . . . Love
is not rude [99-100] . . . . . Love
is generous [101-102] . . . .
Love is not
irritable or resentful [103-104] .
. 80
|
Love
forgives [105-108]. . .
. . . .
|
|
.
|
. 81
|
|||
|
Love rejoices with others [109-110]
. .
.
|
|
.
|
. 84
|
|||
|
Love bears all things [111-113] .
. . .
|
|
.
|
. 84
|
|||
|
Love believes all things [114-115] .
. .
|
|
.
|
. 86
|
|||
|
Love hopes all things [116-117]
. .
. .
|
|
.
|
. 87
|
|||
|
Love endures all things [118-119] .
. .
|
|
.
|
. 89
|
|||
|
GroWinG in conJuGaL Love [120-122]
|
|
|
90
|
|||
|
Lifelong sharing [123-125] .
. . .
.
|
|
.
|
. 92
|
|||
|
Joy and beauty [126-130] .
. . .
. .
|
|
.
|
. 95
|
|||
|
Marrying for love [131-132] .
. . . .
|
|
.
|
. 98
|
|||
|
A love that reveals itself and increases
[133-135] 99
|
||||||
|
Dialogue [136-141] .
. . . .
|
.
|
. .
|
|
.
|
.
|
102
|
|
passionaTe
Love [142]
|
|
|
|
|
|
105
|
|
The world
of emotions [143-146]
|
.
|
. .
|
|
.
|
.
|
106
|
|
God loves the joy of
his children [147-149] .
|
.
|
108
|
||||
|
The erotic dimension of love
[150-152] . .
|
.
|
110
|
||||
|
Violence and manipulation [153-157]
. .
.
|
.
|
112
|
||||
|
Marriage and virginity [158-162] .
. . .
|
.
|
117
|
||||
|
The
TransformaTion of Love [163-164]
|
|
|
121
|
|||
|
chapTer five
LOVE MADE
FRUITFUL [165] .
|
.
|
.
|
.
|
125
|
|
WeLcominG a neW Life [166-167]
|
|
|
|
125
|
|
Love and
pregnancy [168-171]
. . .
|
.
|
.
|
.
|
127
|
|
The love of a mother and a father [172-177] . 130
|
||||
|
an
expandinG fruiTfuLness [178-184]
|
|
|
|
136
|
|
Discerning
the body [185-186]
. . .
|
.
|
.
|
.
|
141
|
|
Life in The
Wider famiLy [187]
|
|
|
|
142
|
|
Being
sons and daughters [188-190] .
|
.
|
.
|
.
|
143
|
|
The elderly [191-193] .
. . .
. .
|
.
|
.
|
.
|
145
|
|
Being brothers and sisters [194-195] .
|
.
|
.
|
.
|
147
|
|
A big heart [196-198] .
. . .
. .
|
.
|
.
|
.
|
148
|
chapTer six
SOME PASTORAL
PERSPECTIVES [199] 151
procLaiminG
The GospeL
of The famiLy
Today [200-204] 151 preparinG enGaGed coupLes for marriaGe
[205-211] 155
The preparation of the celebration [212-216] . 161
accompanyinG The firsT years of married
Life [217-222]................................................. 164
Some resources [223-230]................................. 170
|
casTinG LiGhT on crises, Worries and diffi-
Accompaniment after breakdown
and divorce
[241-246] .
. . .
. . .
. . . . . . 182
Certain complex situations [247-252]................. 187
When
deaTh makes us
feeL iTs sTinG
[253-258] 191
chapTer seven
TOWARDS A
BETTER EDUCATION
OF CHILDREN
[259].................................. 197
Where are our chiLdren? [260-262] 197
The eThicaL formaTion of chiLdren
[263-267] 199
The vaLue
of correcTion as an incenTive
[268-270] 202 paTienT reaLism [271-273] 204 famiLy Life as an educaTionaL seTTinG [274-279] 206
The need for sex educaTion [280-286] 211
passinG on The faiTh [287-290] 216
chapTer eiGhT
ACCOMPANYING, DISCERNING AND INTEGRATING WEAKNESS [291-292] . 221
GraduaLness in pasToraL care
[293-295] 222
The discernmenT of “irreGuLar” siTuaTions
[296-300] 225 miTiGaTinG facTors in pasToraL discernmenT
[301-303]
232
ruLes and discernmenT [304-306] 235
The LoGic of
pasToraL mercy [307-312] 238
chapTer nine
THE
SPIRITUALITY OF MARRIAGE
AND
THE FAMILY [313]........................... 245
a spiriTuaLiTy of supernaTuraL communion
[314-316] 245
GaThered in prayer in The LiGhT of easTer
[317-318] 247 a spiriTuaLiTy of excLusive and free Love
[319-320] 249
a
spiriTuaLiTy of care, consoLaTion and incenTive [321-325] 251
Prayer to the Holy Family 255
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