Pope Francis to
betrayed wife: ‘Forgiveness heals, but dignity must remain’
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© RICCARDO DE LUCA /
ANADOLU AGENCY / Anadolu Agency via AFP
Daniel
Esparza - published on 03/21/25
While forgiveness is essential, “there are situations
where separation is inevitable, even morally necessary, when it comes to
protecting oneself or children from serious harm.”
In a deeply personal letter, Pope Francis responds
to a woman suffering from infidelity in her marriage, offering guidance
on forgiveness, dignity, and the journey to healing.
The Vatican’s new magazine, Piazza San Pietro, continues to foster an intimate
dialogue between Pope Francis and the faithful. In its latest issue, the Pope
replies to Catia, an Italian woman grappling with the pain of her husband’s
betrayal.
Catia writes with raw honesty about her struggle:
“I discovered my husband was unfaithful for over a year. He
says he wasn’t ready for a child, yet he deceived me, even in our own home. He
now prays with me and comes to Mass, but how do I forgive when the memories
still haunt me? I love him, but I feel wounded, humiliated, and lost. I only
ask for a sign — something to show that forgiving the unforgivable is
right, that I have not lost my dignity, and that God is with me.”
Forgiveness is not the only answer
In his reply, Pope Francis acknowledges that “forgiving is
never easy, especially when one has been betrayed in love, in words, in trust.”
He reassures her that Jesus calls believers to
forgive, but he also makes an important distinction:
“Forgiveness is a free and personal act, rooted in grace and
God’s love. But it is separate from the journey of a marriage.”
Francis warns against confusing forgiveness with remaining
in a marriage at any cost. He cites Amoris Laetitia, his exhortation on family life, which
affirms that while forgiveness is essential, “there are situations where
separation is inevitable, even morally necessary, when it comes to protecting
oneself or children from serious harm.”
Rebuilding love with patience
However, the Pope also offers Catia a path forward.
He encourages her to invite her husband to embark on “a journey of
accompaniment” — seeking guidance from a Christian couple who supports
marriages in crisis, attending counseling, and finding a community that fosters
healing.
He reminds her that “love in marriage must always be renewed
by looking at Jesus, at Mary, at St. Paul’s hymn of charity. If there is love,
love can have patience, mend, and repair.”
A sign of hope
Francis gently suggests that perhaps this path of
healing is the very sign Catia is looking for:
“It won’t be easy, but it is possible to experience a true
conversion of marriage. Nothing is impossible for God.”
Ending on a personal note, the Pope assures her of his
prayers: “Let’s hope your husband embraces this path. If love is still present,
love can heal every wound and restore a marriage. I will pray for you, Catia.
Please, don’t forget to pray for me.”
A message for struggling couples
This exchange reflects Pope Francis’ pastoral wisdom — encouraging
forgiveness while affirming personal dignity. His response does not
pressure Catia to stay in a harmful situation but rather invites her to discern
a path where both love and truth can thrive.
For those facing similar struggles, the Pope’s words offer
both challenge and consolation: Forgiveness is not about erasing the past but
about opening the door to healing — whether through reconciliation or the
courage to set boundaries when needed.
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