POST-SYNODAL APOSTOLIC EXHORTATION
AMORIS LÆTITIA
OF
THE HOLY FATHER
FRANCIS
CHAPTER
TWO
The experiences
and chaLLenGes of famiLies
some chaLLenGes
50. The responses
given to the two pre-synodal
consultations spoke of a great variety of situa- tions and the new challenges
that they pose. In addition to those already mentioned, many of the respondents pointed to the problems families face in raising children. In many
cases, parents come home exhausted, not wanting to talk, and many families no
longer even share a common meal. Distractions abound, including an addic- tion
to television. This makes it all the more dif- ficult for parents to hand on
the faith to their children. Other responses pointed to the effect of severe
stress on families, who often seem more caught up with securing their future
than with enjoying the present. This is a broader cul- tural problem,
aggravated by fears about steady employment, finances and the future of children.
51.
Drug use was also
mentioned as one of the scourges of our
time, causing immense suf- fering and even breakup for many families. The same
is true of alcoholism, gambling and other addictions. The family could be the place
where these are prevented and overcome, but society and politics fail to see
that families at risk “lose the ability to act to help their members… We see the serious effects of this breakdown
in families torn apart, the young uprooted and the elderly abandoned, children
who are orphans of living parents, adolescents and young adults confused
and unsupported.”38 As the Bishops of Mexico have pointed out, violence within
families breeds new forms of
social aggression, since “family relationships can also explain the tendency to
a violent personality. This is often
the case with families where communication is lacking, defen- sive attitudes predominate, the members
are not supportive of one another, family activities that encourage
participation are absent, the parental relationship is frequently conflictual
and violent, and relationships between parents and children are marked by hostility. Violence within the family is a
breeding-ground of resentment and hatred in the most basic human relationships”.39
52. No one can think that
the weakening of the family as that natural society founded on marriage will
prove beneficial to society as a whole. The contrary is true: it poses a threat
to the mature growth of individuals, the cultivation of community values and
the moral progress of cities and countries. There is a failure to realize that only the exclusive and indissoluble union
be- tween a man and a woman has a plenary role to play in society as a
stable commitment that bears fruit
in new life. We need to acknowledge
the great variety of family situations that can offer a certain stability, but de facto or same-sex unions,
38 arGenTinian bishops’ conference, Navega mar adentro
(31 May 2003), 42.
39 mexican bishops’ conference, Que en Cristo Nuestra Paz México tenga vida
digna (15 February 2009),
67.
for example, may not simply be
equated with marriage. No union that is temporary or closed to the transmission
of life can ensure the future of society. But
nowadays who is making an ef- fort to strengthen marriages, to help married
couples overcome their problems, to assist them in the work of raising children and, in general, to encourage the stability of the marriage
bond?
53. “Some societies still
maintain the practice of polygamy; in other places, arranged marriages are an
enduring practice… In many places, not only in the West, the practice of living together before marriage is
widespread, as well as a type of cohabitation which totally excludes any inten-
tion to marry”.40 In various countries, legislation facilitates a growing
variety of alternatives to marriage, with the result that marriage, with its
characteristics of exclusivity, indissolubility
and openness to life, comes to appear as an old-fash- ioned and outdated option. Many
countries are witnessing a legal deconstruction of the family, tending to adopt models based almost exclusively
on the autonomy of the individual
will. Surely it is legitimate and right to reject older
forms of the traditional family
marked by authoritarianism and even violence, yet
this should not lead to a disparagement of marriage itself, but rather to the
rediscovery of its authentic meaning and its renewal. The strength of the family “lies in its
capacity to love and to teach how to love. For
all a family’s problems, it can always
grow, beginning with love”.41
54. In this brief overview, I would like to stress the fact that, even though
significant advances have been made
in the recognition of wom- en’s rights
and their participation in public life,
in some countries much remains to be done to promote these rights. Unacceptable customs still need to be eliminated. I think particularly of the shameful ill-treatment to which women are sometimes subjected, domestic
violence and various forms of enslavement which, rather than a show of masculine power,
are craven acts of cowardice. The verbal, physical, and sexual vio-
lence that women endure in some marriages con- tradicts the very nature of the conjugal union. I think of
the reprehensible genital mutilation of women practiced in some cultures, but
also of their lack of equal access to dignified work and roles of
decision-making. History is burdened by
the excesses of patriarchal cultures that con- sidered women inferior, yet in
our own day, we cannot overlook the
use of surrogate mothers and “the exploitation and commercialization of the
female body in the current media culture”.42 There are those who believe that many of today’s problems have arisen because of feminine
eman-
41 Ibid.,
10.
42
Catechesis (22 April 2015): L’Osservatore
Romano, 23 April 2015, p. 7.
cipation. This argument, however, is not valid, “it is false, untrue,
a form of male chauvinism”.43 The equal dignity of men and women makes us
rejoice to see old forms of discrimination dis- appear, and within families
there is a growing reciprocity. If
certain forms of feminism have arisen which we must consider inadequate, we
must nonetheless see in the women’s movement
the working of the Spirit
for a clearer recognition of
the dignity and rights of women.
55. Men “play an equally
decisive role in family
life, particularly with regard to the protection and support of their wives and
children… Many men are conscious of the importance of
their role in the family and live their
masculinity accordingly. The absence
of a father gravely affects
family life and the
upbringing of children and their integra- tion into society. This absence, which may be physical, emotional,
psychological and spiritual, deprives children of a suitable father figure”.44
56. Yet
another challenge is posed by the var- ious forms of an ideology of gender
that “de- nies the difference and reciprocity in nature of a man and a woman and envisages a society
without sexual differences, thereby eliminating the anthropological basis of
the family. This ideology leads
to educational programmes and
43 Catechesis
(29 April 2015): L’Osservatore
Romano, 30 April 2015, p. 8.
legislative enactments that
promote a personal identity and emotional intimacy radically separat- ed from the biological difference
between male and female. Consequently, human
identity be- comes the choice of the individual, one which can also change over time”.45 It is a source of concern that some ideologies of this
sort, which seek to respond to what are at times understand- able aspirations, manage to assert themselves as
absolute and unquestionable, even dictating how children should be raised. It
needs to be empha- sized that “biological sex and the socio-cultural role of
sex (gender) can be distinguished but not separated”.46 On the other hand, “the techno- logical revolution in the
field of human procrea- tion has introduced the ability to manipulate the
reproductive act, making it independent of the sexual relationship between a
man and a wom- an. In this way, human
life and parenthood have become
modular and separable realities, subject mainly to the wishes of individuals or couples”.47 It is one thing to be understanding of human weakness and
the complexities of life, and an- other to accept ideologies that attempt to
sun- der what are inseparable aspects of reality. Let
us not fall into the sin of trying to replace the Creator. We are creatures, and not omnipotent.
Creation is prior to us and must be received as a gift. At the same time, we are called to protect
45 Ibid.,
8. 46 Ibid., 58. 47 Ibid.,
33.
our humanity, and this means, in
the first place, accepting it and respecting it as it was created.
57. I thank God that many
families, which are far from considering themselves perfect, live in love, fulfil
their calling and keep moving
forward, even if they fall many times along the way. The Synod’s reflections show us that there is no stereo- type of the ideal family, but rather a challeng- ing mosaic made up of many different
realities, with all their joys, hopes
and problems. The situations that concern us are challenges. We should not be trapped into wasting our
energy in doleful laments, but rather
seek new forms of missionary creativity. In every situation that
presents itself, “the Church is conscious of the need to offer a word of truth and hope… The great values
of marriage and the Christian family correspond to a yearning that is part and
parcel of human existence”.48 If we see any number of problems, these should be, as the Bishops
of Colombia have said, a summons to
“revive our hope and to make it the source of prophetic vi- sions,
transformative actions and creative forms of
charity”.49
48 Relatio
Synodi 2014, 11.
49 coLombian
bishops’ conference, A tiempos dificiles,
colombianos
nuevos (13 February 2003), 3.
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